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Dealing with your Ex after divorce

After divorce there would be times where you would have to come to terms with your divorce and deal with your ex. This can be exasperating and complex. You would have to work towards breaking emotional ties... ...
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After divorce there would be times where you would have to come to terms with your divorce and deal with your ex after divorce. Dealing with your ex after divorce can be exasperating and complex. You would have to work towards breaking emotional ties.

Give and take: Like marriage or any relationship requires give and take, so does divorce. You can avoid conflict after divorce by finding common grounds and agreeing with your ex on some issues.

Respect your ex: You should refrain from criticizing your ex. Do not show disrespect towards your ex in front of your children. When you respect your ex-, even your ex would respect you in more than one ways.

Craft a new environment: Craft a new environment which supports you and your nature. The environment which you create must empower you. You should make sure that the new environment motivates you in such a way that it makes you want to move ahead in life. Try finding a new support system which you can rely on; be communicative with your friends and family. Remember you would not be able to rely on your ex for assistance and support.

Be ready to communicate: Be ready to talk to your ex, whenever he wants to. While talking to your ex, talk civilly. Avoid abusing your ex during conversations. Being abusive would only make the situation uncomfortable and nerve wrecking. Try and keep all the communication to the point and talk what is necessary. If you are the one who filed for divorce make brief phone calls.

Be impersonal: When you deal with your ex, make your meetings impersonal. Avoid face to face meetings as far as possible. You can opt for text messages, phone usage and email. Keep the meetings business like and guard your privacy. Refrain from discussing personal issues, fears and concerns. Avoid emotional entanglements as much as you can. Being impersonal would reduce negative interactions.

Avoid involving your children and be independent: Keep your children away from conversation with your ex. Your kids should not end up being mediators between you and your ex. After your divorce, you would have to be independent. You would not require to know what your ex is doing or who he’s seeing.

Don’t cut family ties: After your divorce is through, you need not cut family ties which were formed during your marriage. You can always continue family relations even after your divorce.

Accept your new life after divorce: When you accept the situation, you know that your marriage is over and you have freedom from your past. When you begin to live in the present and you can start afresh.

It would be wise to keep in mind, that there would be strong emotions for your ex even after your divorce is through. After divorce you cannot expect things from your ex in terms of emotional support. You cannot have control over your ex after divorce.

 

 

Supplied by: Admin (coparenting.co.za) on 2011-12-20
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