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Parent Sroties to CoParenting

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CoParenting werk! (Mother)

Placed by Kaapma from Western Cape on 2013-05-05

Toe ek die dag besluit het om te skei was ek een honderd persent selfsugtig, dit het alles oor my en my geluk gegaan. Ek het nie vir een sekonde gedink dat dit 'n opsie is om te werk of te bly in 'n huwelik terwille van my kind nie. Ek het wel besluit om van die begin af alles te doen wat reg teenoor my ...

My battle to get to see my son (Father)

Placed by Herman from Limpopo on 2013-04-11

For the past 5 years I have spend all my time, money and energy towards getting to see my son. In December 2011 I had to pay my ex wife R1600-00 tot see my son for a day, and after his safe return, she disappeared again and does not answer any calls from me and refuse me any contact with my son. She moves constantly wi...

Maintenance order? (Father)

Placed by Schul from Other on 2013-03-24

So here is a question for you?

The mother of our daughter asked me for my details so she could get a maintenance order. I happily provided them. Now what she is asking is not unreasonable she wants help paying creche etc.

But then we sat down ( we have a brilliant relationship ) an...

Helpless Mother (Mother)

Placed by Chatjie from Gauteng on 2013-01-24

Good day,

I have been a single mother for quit a while, however, this is with my first two kids. Their father has just not been involved at all since we've part and maintenance case has run to an end without any results at all! And have to say that I did not receive any assistance from the courts side with m...

Father's access to son (Father)

Placed by desperate dad from Western Cape on 2012-12-19

I am the dedicated father of a beautiful son, whom I have adored and loved since the day he was born.

His mother and I split up when he was 4 years old. Initially access was given freely, and I saw him up to four times a week, including weekends.

Then the trouble started! My son, aged 6 then, de...

MAINTENANCE / VISITATION RIGHTS (Other)

Placed by Vanessa from Gauteng on 2012-12-10

Hi My son is 18 and his ex-girlfriend had a baby on the 27th November 2012. They are now claiming that he pays maintenance of R1000 per month from January 2013 and he is not working. For now the baby has everything and the mother is breast feeding. We have bought everything for the baby from cot, clothes to pram and...

Ouerskapplan plan/mediator (Mother)

Placed by Anina from Western Cape on 2012-11-05

Ek en my kind se pa sal seker nooit oor die weg kom nie, want die hof het ons kind in my sorg geplaas en nie in syne nie. Sy pa het die saak gemaak by die hooggeregshof en het baie skuld as gevolg daarvan. Tans is ons by 'n mediator wat die ouerskapplan wat deur die hooggeregshof daargestel is te herskryf, want die ...

good cop bad cop - step-mom (Other)

Placed by Angelique from Gauteng on 2012-10-25

My story starts 10 years ago when I met my husband. He only had visitation over weekends and holidays. Then his ex-wife started with her problems, feeding the children bread for breakfast lunch and supper for 3 months and then there was no water in the house. So, I said lets take the kids in until she gets back on h...

stepchild (Mother)

Placed by luhle from Kwazulu Natal on 2012-10-14

Hi I need help my husband is focusing to permanently stay with his child am not to it Cause my mother in law like her and she always telling me that I will be our of my House yes am out of the house cause my husband brought the child without telling me any Thing my problem is that I feel like I don't have a say in...

Soebat en smeek (Mother)

Placed by Tired*tired from Mpumalanga on 2012-10-09

Hi daar,

My meisiekind is nou 8maande,haar paar is n maand voor sy gebore is getroud(Stepmother from hell).hy het in die * maande nie eers R1000 se goedjies vir haar gekoop nie,ook nie eers gehelp met mediese onkostes ens voor geboorte nie.My meisiekind is gebore met n nier probleem so dis vir my uiters bela...

Grieving grandparents (Other)

Placed by Trueblue from Gauteng on 2012-09-25

Good day!

I'm a non-custodial grandparent of a three year old male child. He's mother passed away October 2011 and one month after her passing away the biological father came with his parents, with a letter from the welfare demanding to raise the child.

I have explained to them (welfare) th...

Can uncle become coparent (Other)

Placed by Uncle from Gauteng on 2012-09-13

Good day

I have a sister who has two children. They are on a medical aid and the premium for this medical aid is paid by me. The reason for my contribution is that the one child has cystic fibrosis and the medical aid pays about R40 000 each month for treatment. Another reason is that I had a significa...

Co-parenting - It Can Work! (Mother)

Placed by Workingberlinmum from Western Cape on 2012-09-11

Yesterday, my son's dad and I met to discuss our boy, Milo, for an hour, whilst a shared friend of ours watched him and his own boy at the nearby playground. It amazes me really how far we have come in the last 4 and a half years (including the pregnancy), it really is astounding.

Just a few years ago I...

bio/step father (Mother)

Placed by UpinARMS from Western Cape on 2012-08-28

Hi All,

Just a quick one, I am sitting with the situation where the ex husband is trying all sorts of things to make sure our family life is derayled. After all that failed he is zooming in on his own daughter (11) He tells her constantly what bad decisions we make, how he is the only one that is there for h...

child (Other)

Placed by mlawu from Western Cape on 2012-08-28

i've been staying with my partner for more than a year, when we first met everything was fine up until a mother of the child showed up and we started having problem. She will go and dump the child to his father especially on fridays knowing that he would come to spend the weekend with me and go and fetch the child t...

How can I do (Mother)

Placed by My child from Gauteng on 2012-08-10

I am a lady, me and my partner have a 18 months old child we are not legally married but he has paid lobola. The child is registered under my surname and I fully support the child and he does not support the child even though we are living together. I pay medical aid for the child. We are separating and ...

maintenance (Mother)

Placed by pumpum from Gauteng on 2012-07-29

Good people please help the sister out. my ex pays maintenance of R1000 plus medical aid for the baby, but i feel like im swimming into financial responsibility as I realise im paying more than he does as far as maintenance is concerned. all in all he spends R1500 per month.

i have a live in helper which i p...

onderhoud (Mother)

Placed by shante from Western Cape on 2012-07-25

Ek het twee kinder by een man, ons was 5jaar saam maar nooit tot trou gekom. Voor die geboorte van my eerste kind het ek werk gehad. My jongste kind is nou net oor n jaar en ons is nie meer in n verhouding nie. Hy weier dat ek enige iets uit die huis neem en wil my net van doeke en melk voorsien. Tans help my ouers ...

What school? (Mother)

Placed by Mom from Gauteng on 2012-07-18

I am divorced with a beautiful 2 year old boy. We currently stay with my parents in Pretoria, and while I am at work my son stays with my mother. He is very happy and comfortable staying with her. I do not intend to move out any time soon as I am still finishing my degree. My son visits his father every Wednesday an...

partners living together for 16 yrs (Mother)

Placed by merriam from Gauteng on 2012-07-11

Me and partners we started to be in relationship at 1996,our first child was born at 1997.We went to look for a place to stay,cause we love each other and we had already had our first child ,and promise to marry me.Now everything is not the same ,and we have 2 childrens.we have been living in the stand even today.he ha...

custody rights (Mother)

Placed by concerned mother from North West on 2012-07-10

Thank you for using this platform so we could write about our problems.i have 4 months baby boy and his father and i have parted ways,because he was involved with other women while was still pregnant even caught him with another woman at his house and he showed no remorse about the situation he even said it is his h...

Application of Children's Act (Professional)

Placed by MJ from Eastern Cape on 2012-07-06

It all looks good and workable on paper but even with mediation and parenting plans etc in place, the reality of dealing with the issues post divorce are in practice frequently something quite different. A hypothetical situation : There is a parenting plan with provisions re contact etc in place.&nb...

Introducing new partners to children (Father)

Placed by John from Western Cape on 2012-07-01

Hi I am looking for some advice here, My wife and I separated in dec last year(together for 11 years & married for 8) and each in our own homes and we share our 2 sons 6 & 7 equally, in a 14 day cycle we have 7 days each. Things between us had been going really well and we had been talking about getting back togethe...

Story about my Son (Father)

Placed by Worried Dad from Western Cape on 2012-06-25

This is a story about my Son, aged 16, and how my ex-wife has had him on Ritalin for over 10 years and now my Son has even more issues. She is not prepared to take him off and thinks she knows best. Over controlling Mother.

I left our home when Chris was 9 months old. He never knew any different apart fr...

Raadop met eks (Mother)

Placed by Raadop from Western Cape on 2012-05-10

Hallo

007 geskei en my twee kinders bly by my, joint custody. Met ons egskeiding het my eksman n consent paper geteken. Hy moes daardie dag teken omdat hy die Reel 43 oortree het en hy gedagvaar is omdat hy nie onderhoud betaal nie.

Elke drie maande gaan hy terug na die landdroshof om die onderhoud t...

Onderhoud (Mother)

Placed by Anna from Western Cape on 2012-05-09

My kind se pa betaal op die oomblik R350.00 'n maand aan onderhoud. Op daardie staduim kon ek nie 'n prokureur bekostig nie en het ook nie 'n werk gehad nie.
Nou dat ek werk en op my eie met my kind bly het ek weer aansoek gedoen vir onderhoud, maar hy dreig my met 'n interdik wat belaglik is. Ons het 'n...

access to child (Father)

Placed by Dane from Kwazulu Natal on 2012-05-06

Hi! My wife and I have been married for three years. Throughout those years we've had many problems and have separated and gotten back together now we've separated once more and she's issued a protection order against me. I do admit to assaulting her but I would never do anything to harm my daughter.
She only all...

Access to kid (Mother)

Placed by Bella from Western Cape on 2012-04-03

I am 19 years old. I believe in South Africa I am not legal to get married. I need to have my parent' consent until I'm 21. I am pregnant and we want to get married. Have been talking about this from even before we were pregnant. My parents will not let us get married. My question is as I am not legal to get married - ...

Soek my kinders (Mother)

Placed by Beki from Mpumalanga on 2012-03-25

Wel ek was in n 13 jaar lange verhouding met n man en daar is 3 kinders gebore uit di verhouding, maar met tyd saam het sy ware klere uitgkm.

Hy was baie 'mentaly abusive' handgemeen, veslaaf an dwelms, baie gedrunk en ht nooit lank n werk gehu ni, en ek moes altyd by die huis bly en kinders op...

vengeful ex (Father)

Placed by Isaac from Western Cape on 2012-03-20

Hi, I need urgent help or advice as soon as possible. I am in fear that I will lose my son. His mother and I had a relationship.

We were like oil and water, I was afraid to leave her during her pregnancy so I stayed for our child. I decided to end the relationship after my son was born. I know that...

How to Talk to a Disenfranchised Father (Father)

Placed by Carl K from Western Cape on 2012-03-14

"If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it."
-Lemony Snicket.

A disenfranchised father is an adequate father who has been unreasonably and unwillingly removed from his children's life. ...

Vervreemding (Father)

Placed by Bekommerde pappa from Western Cape on 2012-03-14

Ek en my ex vrou is al 10 maande geskei. Ons het 'n 2 jarige seuntjie wat by haar bly. Sy wou skei, wat nie vir my verbaas het nie.

In die tyd wat ons geskei is het sy al amper 6 verskillende "boyfriends" gehad, nie dat dit my pla nie, maar nou het sy 'n ou ontmoet aan wie sy verloof gera...

Parenting plan (Mother)

Placed by Arina from Western Cape on 2012-03-12

Ek en my kind se pa is nou amper 2 jaar uit mekaar uit. Ons het baie probleme gehad, hy het op daardie staduim baie gedrink en rondgeloop. Ons het ook baie baklei, so by so dat hy handgemeen geraak het. Na my kind se geboorte (hy's nou 3) het dit net erger geraak en ek het terug getrek na my ouers toe.
Hy het vir e...

Rights to a infant (Mother)

Placed by caring mom from Kwazulu Natal on 2012-03-09

Hi I'm a mother of an almost 5 moths old baby, the father and I never got married Nor is he on the birth certificate,we split up when I was 4 months Pregnant, he harrassed me,knew every move I made, now demands he will see His child. He demands my address and the doctors we use I have refused to Give him any info ...

Minor (Mother)

Placed by concerned mom from Kwazulu Natal on 2012-03-08

Hi all, I'm trying to find out what I can do to keep the "sperm donor" away from me, and my baby, his name is not registered anywhere, he is demanding rights as well as my address etc. I fear for our safety as he drinks and does drugs. Please advise where I can get help or what I can do? He also does not Hold a job...

Denial of contact? (Father)

Placed by riaanbth from Kwazulu Natal on 2012-03-06

My ex wifes husband has taken my two children's cellphones away as a form of punishment. Their grandmother bought the phones for them and I pay the air time. Now that their phones are off, the only way I can contact them is by phoning their home phone. The step father (a reverend) listens in on all conversations. He ...

My Swanger Veroolofde Verneek My (Father)

Placed by Hopeless from Gauteng on 2012-03-01

Desember 2011 het ek per ongeluk my verloofde se foon een aand misgis vir myne , selle maak , kleur ,luitoon en foto in die agtergrond ... die boodskappe wat ek daar gelees het was vreeslik lelik en in die onderwerp ...wel ... het gelees soos die geprekke wat ek net kan beskryf as die vrou op die hoek tipe van goed ......

Onderhoud/Regte (Mother)

Placed by Enkel Ma... from Limpopo on 2012-02-29

Goeie dag, Ek is 'n enkel ma en het in feb 2011 begin met onderhoud by hof.My dogtertjie se pa het eers Des 2011 begin onderhoud betaal wat wel altyd laat is en nie die bedrag wat hof vas gemaak het nie(Hy is R800 agter op onderhoud).Toe ek die saak begin het wou hy eers die vaderskap toetse doen wat bewys dat hy di...

Discipline (Mother)

Placed by Bhia from Western Cape on 2012-02-08

I'm the primary caregiver of our 16year old adopted son. Since our divorce 3 years ago, my son has completely changed becoming undisciplined and refusing to listen to me at all. He has been 2x expelled from high school and are now helping his sister at her Coffee Shop, also only when he feels like it. I desperately nee...

Maintenance (Father)

Placed by loupot from Gauteng on 2012-02-08

Hi, I'm a divorced dad of a five year old boy and three year old girl. both of them are staying with me. my ex-wife initially contributed towards maintenance (proportionally to our salaries). a few bad decisions on her side left her jobless and pregnant again with her second husband. because of her pregnancy she is una...

This divorce thing is strange! (Father)

Placed by Far away dad from Western Cape on 2012-02-08

Sweet and sour day today. My son lost his first tooth today (2000km away). Hard to be happy and remember that he had his first bike ride without the safety wheel on my weekend!...

Problem with bio dad (Father)

Placed by mother of unwed mommy from Western Cape on 2012-01-19

Good afternoon, I came across your web page while searching for information on the internet. If i could briefly give you the picture: my daughter got involved in a relationship with a man who seemed to be very nice at first, but unfortunately turned out not to be nice at all, only after she fell pregnant. he insults ...

Custody (Mother)

Placed by Mommy to E from Gauteng on 2011-12-12

Hi, I am mommy to a 14-month of little girl. The father and I seperated six months ago. For her first eight months whilst we were together, he contributed almost nothing in terms of parenting (financially, emotionally and physically - i have abeen the primary caregiver from the word go!). Now, his anger and spite h...

Mother running away with child (Father)

Placed by bee from Gauteng on 2011-12-06

HI THERE, MY SON IS 3 YEARS OLD, THE MOTHER AND I SPLIT UP BECAUSE SHE FOUND ANOTHER MAN, SINCE THEN SHE DECIDES WHEN AND WHEN NOT I CAN SEE MY SON... 5MONTHS AGO SHE DECIDED TO RUN OFF TO CAPE TOWN WITHOUT INFORMING ME AND REFUSES FOR ME TO SEE MY SON AS SHE SAYS HE WILL NOT RECOGNISE ME... I KNOW WHER SHE WORKS AN...

Absolute Brainwashing (Father)

Placed by Sad Father from Western Cape on 2011-11-25

Good Day Everyone, I am so sad and i don't know where and what to do anymore....My daughter is 7 years old. The mother and i never married, but went our separate ways last year. Since then i am not allowed to see her. When i do get time to see her (only Sundays), the mother stays, so i cant have any alone time with ...

Dads visitation rights? (Mother)

Placed by WORRIED MUM from Kwazulu Natal on 2011-11-24

MY DAUGHTER HAS JUST TURNED 4 HER FATHER HAS DEMANDED THAT SHE IS TO GO TO HIM EVERY SECOND HOLIDAY NOW. I NEED TO KNOW IF (A) HE HAS A LEG TO STAND ON AND (B) WHAT DOES THE LAW STIPULATE ? HE SEES OUR DAUGHTER EVERY SECOND WEEKEND (OVERNIGHT), EVERY WEDNESDAY (OVERNIGHT)AND EVERY SECOND FRIDAY HE WILL PICK HER UP F...

Maintenace (Mother)

Placed by Minx16 from Western Cape on 2011-11-01

Hi There, I am a mother of a 5 year old & I am constantly begging for maintenance from my sons father. Every month it is the same old thing & even though he was told to put a debit order on his account by the court he refuses. This month is the last straw as once again I had to beg & ask for money which he keeps on tur...

Father and daughter (Mother)

Placed by please help from Western Cape on 2011-10-31

HELP! Any advice here would be great pls? my daughter's father decided to only meet her at the age of 5 which he did, but his contact has not been regular or consistant at all, she is now 14 turning 15 in Dec and is having a bit of a problem dealing with his "lack of attention or willingness" to see her and spend time ...

Hard to co-parent? (Mother)

Placed by Anonymous from Western Cape on 2011-10-28

I’ve been thinking more and more about how hard and awful it’s been at times to bite my tongue and “stand down” in regards to me trying to work things out for my kids with their dad and his wife. I try to do everything in the kids best interest, but I almost always feel like it’s a losi...

Is this PAS? (Father)

Placed by P.A.S? from North West on 2011-10-28

My ex is undermining my relationship with my child. She has even begun to call my child's stepfather, Dad, and is referring to me by my first name. We can't talk about anything, and it's very stressful to interact in any way. My child is eight years old and in counseling. It's getting so my daughter won't even come...

Step Mom Nightmare (Mother)

Placed by Natasha from Western Cape on 2011-10-17

My sons father (A) and i split after 8 painful aggressive years together. After a miscarriage in my 2nd relationship (G) and G resenting my son for not being his and treating my son disrespectfully and being mean i ended the relationship as it was irreconcilable. (A) Never made my second relationship with (...

Appropriate age for sleepovers? (Father)

Placed by esse from Western Cape on 2011-10-16

The legal and moral reality is that both of you have full parental responsibilities and rights in respect of your child. In simple terms this means you both have the identical rights (and responsibilities) to co-parent your child. Mothers are not better or more appropriate parents than fathers - please come to terms wi...

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ParentalAlienation

Parental Alienation explains a child’s estrangement from one parent or allegations of abuse at the hands of one parent by blaming the other. More here.

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